Cowabunga Christmas: Promotional Video Poster

Turtle Tidings! Join me on a sewer sleigh ride and celebrate the holiday season with Turtle Power. Throughout December, I'll be featuring a slew of seasonal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles items from past to present. In The Sewer Den's 5th year running, Cowabunga Christmas will be brimming with festive creations, wacky discoveries, and plenty of pizza! Get merry.

OOZING WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT

What's your favorite holiday movie? Everyone asks this question. People love expanding on this too, going further to suggest what is and what isn't a Christmas movie. While the debate rages on whether or not Die Hard is or isn't a holiday film, I can take a bold stand and tell you that the 3rd Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film is definitely NOT a Christmas movie. But, that didn't stop marketing efforts behind the flick. They created many promotional materials that tried to force holiday spirit into the sewers just to sell a few extra copies of the movie. One of the best (worst?) is this promotional poster for the home video release of the TMNT 3. 

NAUGHTY OR NICE?

Confession - I'm a sucker for Turtles in Santa hats. The cheap gimmick gets me every time. I'm still bitter they never made a TMNT action figure equipped with a Santa hat. That's why this silly advertisement has its charm, because of those dopey Turtles in Santa hats. I wouldn't be surprised if this advertisement actually worked on me back in the 90s, clobbering me over the head with festive Turtle Power. But the magic of this poster ends with the Santa hats. The copy is embarrassingly bad, even by TMNT standards. "This year, try some Turtles under your tree!" disturbs me. Am I crazy or does that sound like an invitation to start eating Turtles as appetizers beneath your tree? Replace the word Turtles with eggnog, fruit cake, Christmas ham - seriously any food-related word transforms the entire ad campaign. I don't want to try Turtles, ever.

This gem also needs to be noted, "The Super Bowl of kids films." I was shocked to look closer and see that this is an actual quote by an actual person, not a blurb of marketing copy. Even the most diehard Turtles fans would have trouble giving the third film praise this lofty. Joel Siegel of Good Morning America (circa 1993) must've been a bigger TMNT fan than all of us! Strong love for such a mediocre movie. Bless your sewer soul, Joel. Hope you're watching TMNT 3 this season.

COWABUNGA CONCLUSION

My favorite holiday films are Christmas Story, Home Alone & Black Christmas. I never considered putting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 on the roster. And after writing about this promotional poster, that won't change. The advertising failed to woo me with its haphazard holiday spirit. That said, it features the original TMNT movies AND Santa hats - a killer combo that I can't help but love.

Special thanks to my pal, Ryan (aka @DoltonTV), for scanning a high-res copy of this wacky ad. Not only is he a swell guy and a sewer hero, but he makes fun content too. Give him a follow. Gratitude, dude!

Check back for more holiday hijinks all December during Cowabunga Christmas!