Door Hangers

Why do I love collecting junk? It's gotta be in my chemical makeup - an innate gene. I'd love scientific research analyzing why I get a boost of adrenaline when finding a 20 year old toy for a dollar in a laundry basket at a flea market. It would be an interesting study, shedding light on the brainwork of nostalgic hoarders. Is that heartwarming or just plain sad?

But, I don't need a study to reveal one big fact - I'm not in this for the money. Making a buck has never been part of my collecting game. Making friends and giving away any extra bits of my collection is much more valuable than a few extra bills in my wallet. I'm no Mother Teresa of the sewers, but I share the wealth when possible. Unfortunately, not all collectors fall in line with this mindset. This usually means eBay is flooded with overpriced listings and flea markets are riddled with greedy merchants. It sucks!

That's why I love scanning vintage TMNT items. Sharing high-resolution versions of these pieces makes the originals less desirable and ultimately takes away the power of scalpers who price gouge. No, I can't do this with action figures and playsets. But for flat, printable content, it's great. And even if it's making no difference at all, I like to think it is. Let me feel like I'm contributing!

Come and knock on my door - cause I've got high-resolution treasures from the late 80s & early 90s to share. Vintage door hangers! Pick your favorite, print & dangle a mutant from your door knob. Life is good.

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NO PIZZA NO ENTRY: Basic, but beautiful. The artwork borrows from the original Mirage comics, but the the sentiment capitalizes on the cartoon Turtles' love for pizza. I believe this was an item I received through the original TMNT Fan Club - hoarding Pizza Points until I eventually had enough to cash in for a prize. Like me, I'm sure many kids in the 80s & 90s proudly hung these from their bedroom door knobs. But, the message was lost on my folks. They still barged into my fortress of solitude and never brought a pizza.

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TURTLE TURF! This door hanger takes its message in a totally different direction. No jokey pizza gags here, it's all business. Borrowing once again from the Mirage comics artwork helps sell the warning notice style of the door hanger. This one is a better fit for the kid in a bad mood or when a bedroom is a total mess. Keep those parents out until you're happy and your room is spotless!

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HALT! DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PIZZA! For me, this door hanger captures everything that makes TMNT special - awesome art, goofy copy & pizza. It's a successful formula that's worked for decades. A slick looking Turtle chomping down on black & white pizza, what more could a kid ask for? 

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WELCOME TO THE SEWER: Of all the door hangers in my collection, it's this one that dangles from the entrance of The Sewer Den. Although the artwork is the least impressive of the bunch, there are so many other qualities that raise this bad boy to the top. The copy is total Sewer Den style. "Welcome to the Sewer" - it's a non-threatening message that demands no pizza. Visitors are warmly greeted instead of entering with apprehension. I wanted friends as a kid, and I still want them today.

There's also gray ooze dripping from the message. I'm not sure why the usual green mutagen was abandoned in favor of such a bland color. But to its credit, it's gross! The sludge genuinely makes me feel more and more uncomfortable the longer I stare. Maybe it's not mutagen or ooze...it's just straight up sewer gunk.

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PRIVATE SCREENING - DO NOT ENTER (SHOWTIME/TMC) This beaut is a bonus. It's not from my collection, but is too awesome to be ignored. I haphazardly discovered the gem late one night while trolling the internet for offbeat mutant merchandise (courtesy of Tokka & GoGreenMachine.org). I love this door hanger. Movie buffs everywhere should love this door hanger.

The door hanger seems to be a Showtime and/or TMC (The Movie Channel) partnership with the original TMNT movies - most likely when the films were hitting the cable networks. It's pure 90s bliss. There are punchy colors and slew of poor font choices, but somehow it's still loads of fun. The door hanger also captures Showtime's 90s game plan, eons before their programming agenda was hellbent on original content. I'd vote to ditch everything from Dexter to Homeland and bring us more mutants!

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Why pay for these vintage beauties? Your room, home or office can be protected with Turtle Power for free. And if printing a door hanger and wasting ink seems like a dumb idea, well hey, you didn't pay to read this post either.

Hang these heroes proudly from your door knob! Which design is your favorite?